I wonder what you have in store for me? These past 365 days have been…..long! I can’t say its been a very bad year, there’s been worse yet I’ve had better.
2015 was the year I’ve been told to dread by some and look forward to by others, this year I turned 40!
Apart from feeling very loved at my party and simply blown away with my cake (I mean who wouldn’t be…..it has everything that I loved including cake?) My fantastic pain in the bum husband, Bazzy, showed me again how much he loves me (He doesn’t spoil me often but when he does its a doozy!) by organising and joining me on ticking
another Bucket List item. I was taken to USA, primarily so I could see New Orleans but we took 3 weeks and drove from Miami through Florida and the Everglades into Louisiana and then up to Georgia to see an old family friend (‘Aunt’ and ‘Uncle’) and in between I scrubbed off 2 other minor BL items. Blasting through the glades on a hoverboat and swimming with Manatees. I still believe though that probably the best bit of our trip was realising that my love for Bazzy and our spark that bought us together is still there. After 10 years marriage, him working his socks off and me now medically retired our day to day living has become a bit mundane, something I want to fix this year, but if we can survive what was virtually a 3 weeks road trip together I know our relationship is just as strong, maybe different, as its always been. Something I need to remember when I get cabin fever bored and he’s too tired to do anything but eat and sleep.
I’ve had a few pleasantly unexpected moments in the past year as well, a return to The Ministry of sound, a club I thought I would never see again after spending so many of my weekends in the late 90’s there and a party on a boat docking on Temple pier, another club event from the same time. Acquaintances have become good friends as well and old friends have come back into my life. So on the surface life has been positive for me.
Unfortunately life always has a way of balancing out, I’ve lost a few good friends this year like my beloved Amy and 1 friend I seem to have upset somehow, I have an idea how but my aversion to calling/contacting has increased and my attempt at written contact with her lead to silence. I fear I may have lost one of the special ones! A true good soul, big hearted angel.
Sometimes I hate my anxiety issues, especially when combined with my ditzy unorganised brain.
Altogether, my health hasn’t been great. Nothing major, its lots of the little issues just piling up and up. Working against each other but linked at the same time. So my time has mostly been spent on my own, with usually the only reason to leave the house is to walk the dog. Its true though, that inactivity breeds inactivity. Days blur into one where nothing productive has been achieved and I’m either unable to sleep (Dehydration and restless legs!) or unable to wake up, usually a monthly event or if I get a H.S. flare, for days. The longer this goes on the more I isolate myself and a lonely bored fairy is never good! I’m sitting here surrounded by jobs my OCB is yelling need doing but lack the body capability to do so I start lots of jobs and never finish any really!
I’ve just sat and watched the sun come up on 1st January 2016 and I’m feeling determined! I don’t make resolutions but I’ve decided I need to find the real me inside, the fighter. I need to start sorting things out. If I can get the little health issues sorted then I have a good chance of pulling myself out of this rut. Get the overheating/excess sweating under control and the dehydration, RLS, HS flares will become easier, at the same time sort my foot out. Who would ever have thought that 2 numb toes could lead to so much pain and discomfort, having a knock on effect on my other foot, my knees and my back. If I can get a handle on the pain then a positive mind will follow! I Hope!
So my resolution, or maybe better to say my promise to myself today and in writing is that over the course of 2016 I will get my Sparkle back in place. It will be polished and shining bright and I will have control of my body again……and my life!